Acceptance is Not the Same as Acceptable

Accepting that he's gone, accepting that he won't be back, accepting that my life must go on without him, doesn't make the loss OK.

Everyday is a reminder of the loss.  Every sadness, every joy, every disappointment, every accomplishment - they are all things that I can't share with him.  I can share them with my friends, but none if them know me like he did.  None if them understand me - my joys, my fears, my weaknesses - like he.

Today was tough.  It was a day of frustration and anger with others.  It was a day that would have been so much better if he had been here to wrap his arms around me and help me refocus.  Instead it was a day of tears.  A day in which I knew that no matter what the future might bring, nobody will ever know me like he did.  I may not ever know me like he did.

Today was a reminder of how alone I am, and how meaningless my life has become.