Tears

So many tears today sparked by good memories, bad memories, and the sad fact that my life goes on.

I miss him so much.  I can't sleep, I can't eat.  I don't know how I breath.  This is the anniversary of his last week.  I remember that week.  How amazing he was until the very end, how awful the very end was for me.

I wish I knew what he was thinking and feeling.  I know he loved me, but he was beyond speech.  I don't know if he was scared or at peace.  I don't know if he was in pain.  But I do remember how he was my Brian until the very end.

He was amazing.  I miss him.  I don't know how to live without him.