Every smile, every tear,
Everything in my life has settled into me -
My heart, my mind.
Every memory has its place,
Its room in this body that I call home.
Everything,
Except for you.
You have stained me.
You have seeped into every cell.
You have tainted me.
Turned white to grey and
Truth to lies.
You are the shadow cast over my days
You are the howl in the night
You are the silence that begs for a lullaby
And the screech that yearns for peace.
You are the pain that reminds me that I'm alive
And the ache that welcomes death
I don't know where you end
Or where I begin
Your need chokes me
Your anger scalds
You have taught me to hate
And to love
And how it is hard to distinguish between the two.
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