Grief

It has been almost two years since I lost Brian, and while the grief feels different, it still feels fresh.  I am anniversarying  the last two weeks of his life, and the memories are painful.  In the end, the decline was rapid.  We had the chance to say goodbye, but it was too quick, too soon, too hard.

I miss him every day.  I miss the life we shared.  I miss the love we shared.  I miss my best friend.  Life goes on, but nothing is the same.  It is hard every day.

This week I heard the horrible news of an online friend who just lost her infant son.  He was a twin.  They are now enjoying their beautiful baby girl, while mourning their beautiful baby boy.  I can't imagine their pain.  I know my pain.  I know that Brian died far too young.  How does one deal with the death of an infant?  How does anything in life make sense. 

I am heartbroken.  For them, for myself, for Brian. It hurts too much.  Every day is too hard.  I need to find a way to be happy again, but I don't know how.