Living, dying, or something in between

On April 20th it will be three years since Brian died. This time three years ago we had already been living in hospice house - living, no, we were alive there, but not living - we were dying. I am so sad; so alone in my pain. I am surviving, but not living. Without Brian There is nobody that understands and knows me. I live in this horrible solitude of pain, and while its jagged edges aren't as treacherous as they used to be, it's weight is slowly killing me.